To Tea or Not To Tea

By Olivia MacDonald

For the first time in my life, I have suffered real heartbreak, from the absence of what my heart longs for most while I’m overseas. No, it’s not my mother or father, nor my dog who everyone refers to as “the rat.” It’s more monumental than those trivial things. It’s sweet iced tea.

I am not quite sure what London, and the United Kingdom in general, have against iced tea. Sure, the UK has given us some great things: the British accent, the American revolution, shortbread cookies, and an appreciation for salt as you pour it over every English dish. Though the greatest thing they’ve ever given us Americans is tea. Did they discover tea? Of course not. But the real question is: who perfected it? And that would be America… the country whose true embassy overseas is McDonald’s. 

At the time of my writing this, I have lived in London for an astounding forty-one days now. Having adapted to being a real Londoner, I have noticed the similarities and differences between New York and London culture. For starters, the song “Sweet Caroline” will make any group of white people go crazy, regardless of nationality. We’ve also both recently survived being led by a politician known for their awful hair.

Photo credit to the author.

In contrast, while I carried my pepper spray as an extension of my arm in NYC, always at the ready, I learned upon arrival in London that my bedazzled device was illegal and I should instead rely on a flashlight for self-defense. What started as worry for my general safety was quickly eclipsed by something more harmful to my overall wellbeing. The most shocking and heartbreaking truth of them all is the blatant disregard for the greatest drink ever invented: sweet iced tea. I hope it’s obvious by now I am not a northerner, the same way I assume those who drink plain, hot black tea have a general disregard for the sweeter, friendlier things of life. I’ve tried everything, I’ve pleaded, I’ve begged, I’ve attempted to go behind the Pret A Manger counter to make it myself. Yet, to no avail, the concept of iced tea is too revolutionary. 

I’m hopeful that every confused, wide-eyed barista who blinks upon my request will one day join me and my insurgent belief of placing cubes of frozen water and sugar into boiled leaf water. Yes, those are the only ingredients. Actually, now that I see them listed, I could have just been making it at my apartment this entire time...